greenbaby

I have been reading a lot about attachment parenting lately. I found a book at the library called A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development written by John Bowlby. The book was published in 1988 and Bowlby seems to have been one of the earliest proponents of attachment theory. What’s nice about this book is that it gets to the psychological roots of attachment theory. What’s a little difficult about this book is that it is basically a series of lectures that were delivered at various times to the psychological (?) community. It deals a lot with the technical aspects of attachment theory and the psychological results of poor parenting. It tends to address severely poor parenting, i.e. verbally or physically abusive parents or emotionally absent parents. It’s a little hard to apply some of this to my own parenting, but it’s great to get some concrete background on attachment theory.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with attachment parenting, here’s a little explanation in Bowlby’s words:
Attachment theory regards the propensity to make intimate emotional bonds to particular individuals as a basic component of human nature, already present in germinal form in the neonate and continuing through adult life into old age. During infancy and childhood bonds are with parents (or parent substitutes) who are looked to for protection, comfort, and support… Exploring the environment, including play and varied activities with peers, is seen as a third basic component and one antithetic to attachment behaviour. When an individual (of any age) is feeling secure he is likely to explore away from his attachment figure. When alarmed, anxious, tired, or unwell he feels an urge towards proximity. Thus we see the typical pattern of interaction between child and parent known as exploration from a secure base…
What’s got me a little concerned is that last night I read the following sentence:
Around the middle of the third year, however, a secure child begins to become confident enough to increase time and distance away - first to half-days and later to whole days. (Emphasis mine.)
Well, I’ve arranged our lives so that I can stay home with Sweet Pea for at least the first year of her life, and I’m working on ways to stay home with her beyond her first year, but there is a very real chance that I will need to work at least part time if not full time outside the home next year. Will S.P. be developmentally ready for this? Obviously I need to read more!

Trackback URI | Comments RSS